WHAT + WHY
What + Why
For everyone who moms
There are a lot of catchphrases that end with "it out." We hear them all them time... work it out, talk it out, let it out.
Spell it out, cry it out, shake it out, wait it out. Push it out (hello, baby!). We're told to stick it out, tough it out, or just the good ole figure it out.
And here's the thing... everyone, including moms, do all these. But moms also have a special skill... we mom it out. No matter what comes our way, we tackle it, we handle it, we do it.
We. Do. It. All.
We mom it out.
We is anyone who moms. Bio moms, adoptive moms, step moms, foster moms. Dads who mom. Grands, siblings, aunts, uncles, friends who act as moms. Chosen moms and second moms. Any and everyone who moms.
How I Got Here
I became a mom over ten years ago and it has been an absolutely amazing time. The best of my life. The most challenging, and the most rewarding. The most exhausting, and the most exhilarating. The most frustrating, and the most encouraging.
Absolutely one hundred percent exactly what I expected but also absolutely one million percent nothing like I expected. I know exactly what I'm doing, like I was born to do this, and yet at the same time, I am so freaking clueless that I have no idea how we've made it this far.
And I don't think I'm alone feeling like this.
But What is Here?
I've spent a lot of time trying to figure out this "being a mom" thing. And a lot of time going with my gut and trusting that everything will figure itself out.
I've created my own parenting plan called What Works For Us For Now.
For US.
For NOW.
It doesn't matter what works for anyone else cause we do what works for us. And if it stops working, we find what works for us in the new now.
But admittedly sometimes finding what works for us for now isn't all that easy and we're still trying to figure out what works in some areas. This is where community and collective ideas are key.
It's also worth noting that I love information and finding solutions. I accumulate and try ideas like its my job. Some I find searching online, some from online groups I'm in, some from other moms I know, some I conjure up while lying awake late at night. I research and I try. I fail and I succeed.
And now we're putting it all in one place. Here. The good, the bad, the fun, and the nasty. The successes and the failures.
We're not a mommy blog.
We're the group text, the friends on speed dial, the Facebook mom group, the convo at the school play, the tips from the friend with older kids, and so much more all in one place.
We don't do Pinterest-perfect. We don't do "you're enough" platitudes printed over watercolor. We do good writing about the actual thing: the identity shift, the work, the marriage, the kids, the body, the friendships, the ambition, the ups and downs, the great times and the shit times.
I first started this website over 9 years ago. After working on it for a bit, I was not only overwhelmed by being a single mom of a toddler and working full time, but also acutely aware of privacy and not wanting to expose my son online without him having any say in it. I've thought a lot about that since then and keep coming back to the idea of wanting a place where moms can share information and create a community of support and sharing.
My solution is three-fold.
First, I'll have my son's buy in on any stories or information related to him that I post online.
Second, any information about him will be anonymized so you won't actually know it's about him.
Third, to ensure privacy, additional content will be crowdsourced from any and all moms, edited into a common style and voice, and anonymized across the board. Names, gender, age may be modified but the core facts, lessons, meaning, and intent will be retained.