What is mom it out?

It starts before you're fully awake.

The alarm goes off, and before you’re even close to fully conscious, the mental list is ticking. Lunches. Permission slip. That email you didn't answer. The dentist appointment you need to reschedule. Whether there's enough milk. Whether you said the wrong thing last night. Whether you're doing any of this right.

And then you get up and do it anyway.

That's not nothing. It’s actually everything.

01We Have a Lot of Phrases for Getting Through Things

Cry it out. Work it out. Laugh it out. Figure it out. Talk it out. Sweat it out. Ride it out. Hug it out.

We use these phrases because there's wisdom in them. When something is hard, you move through it. You don't go around it. You don't wait for it to stop being hard. You find the way that's yours — the cry, the run, the phone call, the ugly laugh — and you come out the other side.

Moms do all of those things. Every day. Often in the same hour.

So let’s name it.

02What It Is

It's holding it together in front of the kids, falling apart in the car, then pulling yourself back together before you get to work.

It's sending the email even though your kid is standing next to you asking you something; hell, they’re asking you twelve somethings. And then closing the laptop and actually listening.

It's finally making the appointment for yourself. And then not rescheduling it again.

It's saying I don't know to a question you can't answer before sitting down with your kid and figuring it out together.

It's forgiving yourself for the bad days faster than you used to.

It's the planned dinner that didn't happen and the hot mess that did. And knowing that everyone was fed, full, and fine.

It's the thing you built during nap time, or after bedtime, or in fifteen-minute increments over three years.

It's the lunch with a friend you showed up for even when you were running on empty.

It's the hard conversation you had with your partner, or your mother, or yourself. You kept putting it off and then it wasn’t that bad. Or it was that bad, but it needed to be done and you did it.

It's the phase you weren't sure you'd survive. Every day seemed insurmountable until the day it started getting better.

It’s getting shit done every day; sometimes a lot, sometimes not. But enough.

03What It Isn't

It isn't perfection. Not even close.

It isn't glorifying how hard it is to be a mom instead of trying to make it easier.

It isn't a highlight reel of a perfect life with perfect decor and perfect lighting.

It isn't the mom who has it all figured out. (Side note: if you exist, we’d love to chat.)

It isn't the pressure to do more. Lord knows you're already doing enough.

04Who This Is For

mom it out is for the working mom and the stay-at-home mom and the mom who is somewhere in between and not sure what to call herself. The new mom who is zombie walking through the week three. The seasoned mom who is somehow starting over with a teenager. The single mom. The mom with a partner who's trying. The mom with a partner who isn't. The mom who had a plan and the mom who is making it up as she goes.

The mom who is thriving right now — genuinely, surprisingly thriving — and the mom who is in the thick of a season she just needs to survive.

It’s for the dads who mom too. The grandparents who took in the kids and are doing it all again. The friends who help mom.

All of it counts. All of you are welcome here.

05What This Place Is

mom it out is a place to be honest about the hard stuff and celebrate the small wins without making either one into a performance.

It's not a parenting manual. It's not a self-improvement program. It's not going to tell you how to be a better mom, because that’s different for each and every one of us. And because we don't think that's the question most of you are actually asking.

We think the questions are: Am I alone in this? Can I do this? Does anyone else feel like this? Is it hard just for me?

And the forever answer is no.

You are not alone in the parking lot cry. You are not alone in the ambition that survived motherhood. You are not alone in the love that is so big it sometimes frightens you. You are not alone in the exhaustion, the pride, the grief, the joy, the mess, the beauty, the relentlessness of it.

You’re momming it out.

You just didn't have a name for it yet.